


A Defense of Honor

by AnnaofAza



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Bisexual Eggsy, Child Abuse, Domestic Violence, Drabble, Gen, Internal Conflict, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Slurs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-20
Updated: 2015-08-20
Packaged: 2018-04-16 08:36:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4618770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnaofAza/pseuds/AnnaofAza
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry Hart's going to keep walking, and Dean’s goons are going to beat him until he's a bloody smear on the floor of the Black Prince.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Defense of Honor

"If you're looking for another rent boy, they’re on the corner of Smith’s Street."

Eggsy forces himself not to cringe.

He's hid it the best he could, but it's entirely possible Dean _knows_. It's almost a game, but without any knowledge of scoring, so he doesn't know if he's fucked up somewhere along the line. So, what, sometimes, he happens to snatch a quick glimpse at some bloke walking down the sidewalk, or rewatches _Pride and Prejudice_ with his mum and sees Mr. Darcy stand up from the river, water dripping down his hair and face and the clingy white shirt…

The point is, Eggsy's been hiding it for so long that the comment comes as a shock. Had Dean found out and squealed to his mates? He got enough heat from the gymnastics; Eggsy doesn't need more of this shit: _you're going to prance around in leotard, Eggsy? Any more of hanging out with those girls, and you'll turn into one yourself. Is that what you want? Some pansy who takes it up the arse! I ought to teach you a lesson..._  

He likes girls, okay? It's been examined from all different angles, and the point stands that he's still attracted to the same gender—ergo, he's not gay.

The few guys he's fooled around with as a teenager could be a hormonal fluke; kids their age experiment all the time, without really _knowing_. Eggsy can't claim he's innocent, because when he kisses Archie Thomas in the supply closet after morning drills at age twenty, shame and anxiety make his heart race along with the stolen bits of endorphins and pleasure. He didn't know how his mum might feel, but already knows  _cocksucker_ and _faggot_ aren't compliments. He blames it on others, because if they force what you love into something secret and perverse, then it twists into something unsure and guilt-ridden. Then, it's easy to hate yourself, doubt what makes you happy.

Eggsy and his mum share something in common: they're both afraid. His mum draws into herself and cringes when Dean grabs her by the arm and backhands her in broad daylight, and afterwards, Eggsy steals moments away with holding Daisy or helping his mum cook with what they have left in the fridge. Sometimes, Dean decides to turn on Eggsy, and he's long since stopped keeping it a secret from his wife. Michelle used to push Eggsy behind her and try to shield him with her own body with screams of _Eggsy Eggsy go to your room_ and _Dean I'm sorry please_ and _stop stop stop._

But when Eggsy turned twelve, he'd shoved his mum out of the way before one of Dean's blows could land. He could take it, Eggsy had thought. He was younger, stronger, and better him than his mum. So far, Dean hasn't touched Daisy: either because she's too young or because she shares his blood, but the way he scowls at her sobbing in the night makes Eggsy tense in preparation for that day.   

In the hardest moments, the medallion presses into his skin, whispering _oxfords, not brogues._ But what if it's only a one time favor? What if Eggsy wastes it? So he stores his pain away and tells himself that things could get worse, and when they do, Eggsy stands up and steels himself. _I can handle it._  

So what if he's made sure that his mum and sister were taken care of when Dean loses another job, and Eggsy has to pretend he's going out with mates to get away? So what if he knows how to smile with equal combinations of shy and _come hithe_ r, look up from underneath his eyelashes, or bite his lip to pull it slightly away from his teeth? So what? That's survival, that's providing for his family, that's—that's...honorable. Not that bleeding Mister Harry Hart knows about that.

But how...what if? What if he _knows_? What if he recited Eggsy's past failures and chose to leave that particular detail out? If he knew, was he being kind, or was he simply disgusted?

Harry Hart's going to keep walking, and Dean’s goons are going to beat him until he's a bloody smear on the floor of the Black Prince. Eggsy know that he’ll try to do the best he can against the five before they get bored enough or think they’ve earned enough of Dean’s approval. He’s been in fights before—not that he’s particularly proud of many of them—and Eggsy tenses, as one of them stands right in front of where he’ll slide his leg out of the booth.

He’s trapped.

Eggsy’s prepared for the inevitable, though. Not for the first time, he’ll stand up for himself, alone.

But Harry stops.

Turns.

And kicks their fucking arses.


End file.
